Truthbutter

Monthly Archives: January 2019

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Cheers, 2018

It’s 11:56pm on December 31st, 2018, and I decided that I can’t let 2018 draw to a close without a little reflection.

I was looking at some of my journal entries from the end of last year, and I was in a dark place. I felt hopeless, and helpless, and powerless, and all those other adjectives that mean your soul hurts. I had lots of reasons – good reasons, I think – to feel this way, but also lots of reasons to not feel that way. I think that’s how it usually is.

At the beginning of this year, I decided that 2018 would be the year I felt powerful again. I set big goals that felt like pipe dreams, but now, a year later – I somehow achieved the biggest ones. I got a new job. I bought a house. And my life feels completely different, in a good way. And I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.

A lot of bad things happened in 2018 too, but mostly, 2018 is the year I learned – really learned, I think, for the first time – what it feels like to dream big dreams. And I think I’ll keep doing that, because even if I fail, at least I’ve become the kind of person who dreams big dreams. And sometimes that’s half the battle.